Super Columbine Massacre RPG! (PC- released 2005)

 

  Okay, this one is pretty bad. If you are offended by offensive things, or hate black humor then this review will NOT be for you.

  Super Columbine Massacre RPG! was a game that came out as an independent release back in 2005. Created by indie game developer Danny Ledonne, and released in April of that year SCMRPG! is a recreation of the 1999 Columbine school shooting that was carried out by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

  The Game is presented in a 16-bit style, reminiscent of  an SNES release and was entirely crafted in ASCII's RPG maker software. The game was released as a free download and originally not credited to anyone but "Anonymous". In 2006 the media learned of this game and it began getting hundreds if not thousands of downloads daily. The press had a field day slamming the game and calling it's creator "sick" and "twisted" so what better excuse then to review this gem of an RPG!

Synopsis: 

  Super Columbine Massacre RPG! takes place in  and around the homes of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, as well as Columbine High School. As the player your goal is to prepare the duo for the shooting, as well as execute the attack on the school.

 Your goal at the start is to collect items and get things ready for the attack, before heading off to the school to launch the massacre.

Secret of Evermore (SNES - Released 1995)

What is it with the year 1995?? I'll tell you what it is.. it was a great year for RPGs. And Secret of Evermore was no exception. This game was released by Squaresoft of America two years after Secret of Mana was released, and is in the same style as SoM as well. This was the first game SoA had control of, and I personally think they did a fine job.

This is more of an action RPG. It has elements of traditional games such as leveling, leveling your weapons, and adding a new take of spell casting by earning recipies for alchemy, and an array of other cool things that Evermore and Mana made popular during the nineties. The game is littered with pretend movie references as the main hero is a movie fanatic. What a dream come true for a young boy to enter a world of his dream. Just look at the cover of the box! That boy and giant, flesh eating bug-demon look like they are having fun. See? They are about to play catch!

Synopsis:

Secret of Evermore takes place in the world of Evermore, when a young nameless boy/hero wanders into an abandoned mansion looking for his companion, nameless dog. He finds himself transported to a world where dreams came true, and turned into nightmares. The hero will traverse the ancient past, the Greek era, the medieval times, and a futuristic space station on par for the last part in the game. The Boy and The Dog fight together, and this game features the option to have 2 players simultaneously.

Earthbound (SNES - Released 1995)

This little hidden gem wasn't very hidden at all back in 1995. It was in many of your fine retail stores (anyone remember when Sears used to have a video games section? It's true.) it came in a ginormous box, packed with it's own strategy guide and hours of entertainment.

Earthbound is renowned the world over for it's wacky humor and off-color jokes. I honestly don't think any of these town-folk are serious, and I'm not sure if anyone but the HINT GUY has a clue where they are. Every NPC in EB is on lsd or something. That alone makes this a standalone RPG of the year. Released a month before Chrono Trigger, EB shared shelves with that excellent RPG in the rental stores for many moons. I remember going to blockbuster and seeing them on the same aisle of games. It's still hard to believe SNES cartridges were rent-able back then. Fuck, I'm getting old.

Synopsis:

Four young children save the planet from the evil alien conqueror known as Giygas. The main character of this game, Ness, is featured in Super Smash brothers years later, but in his game he was beating stray dogs with baseball bats and digging thru trash cans for treasure! He meets Paula, who's really a white Miss Cleo, Jeff, a virgin, and Poo.. the ninja. Poo. They fight aliens and people controlled by the influence of Giygas.

Dragon Warrior III (NES - Released 1991)

Also known as Dragon Quest III. This game is fucking HARD. I don't mean like "aww I can't beat that boss" hard.. I mean, you just walked into the wrong part of town, and now this regular enemy will pull down your pants and rape you in the buttcave in one dry, wicked shot.

For us Americans, the year was 1991. RPG games were in the beginnings of it's hay-day, and unfortunately for DW III, it was pushed aside due to the Nintendo Power hype of the SNES. This was before the days of Square Enix, when it was merely Enix that was cranking the Command style of RPG battle, never breaking from the plan that worked.

Synopsis:

Dragon Warrior III takes place before the first Dragon Warrior game. The hero can be male or female per the players choice. You can control all 4 characters from the very beginning and can change their classes to whatever suits your needs. This can be done in towns and can be done on a reoccurring basis, making those tough to beat spots easy with the right party combination.

Chrono Trigger (SNES - Released 1995)

Do you remember a time when RPG games were actually GOOD and were CHALLENGING? I remember those days vividly. One big reason I will always hold onto the childhood love of RPG games was because of this game, Chrono Trigger.

1995 didn't see a Final Fantasy release that year, though we were treated to some of the greatest games of our time. Over here in the USA, Japan was kind enough to release this gem to our shores. Featuring the awesome art style of Akira Toriyama, we were blessed with one of my personal favorites, and a game with a legacy beyond the corridors of time or consoles.

Synopsis:

In Chrono Trigger, the player takes control of a youth named Crono. He and several other characters you meet along the way fight to stop Lavos, an alien porcupine thing festering within the planet, gaining power through the ages. Crono and company travel through time as they learn the truth of their planet, and vow to destroy the evil that ruins the future.